Courtship between a couple or poly relationship in the town of Whistler Crest is fairly informal and private. Because of the many relationships including both a Draken and a Nyulop or several of each , the two species' existing courtship rituals have morphed into their very own ritual, making it unique compared to other outside towns.
More info on all Species Courtship and Marking rituals here!
Bonding Ritual
Once a relationship has passed the threshold of friendship, Marking, and then Charming a partner, they will often begin to start thinking about officially bonding with them. Bonding, like courtship, is generally private, unless the finley in the relationship decides otherwise. The process is generally accepted to be more private however, performed in their own home or in a location that they feel is special to them.
To initiate a Bond in a relationship, first one or several of the participants will prepare a gift for each other. The gift should be something that is highly important to the gifter, something like a treasured item or something they picked out for their partners specifically. This signifies how much their partners means to them, and how they are willing to give up anything, even things that are expensive or meaningful, for them. This is equivalent to the real-world marriage proposal, and the gift is usually given with the question of “Will you bond with me?” or something similar. If the partner/s say yes, they begin planning when their bonding will become official.
Before the ceremony, or ritual, a bit of preparation takes place! The partners to be involved in the bonding ceremony first decide on who will be taking who’s surname. If neither of them have a surname, then this conversation is not had. It is the choice of the two involved who will get who’s surname by the end of the ritual, if anybody changes their surname at all, or if they use two or more surnames, usually separated by a hyphen. This bit of tradition is not very strongly enforced, and is all up to the opinions of the finley nvolved.
Then, comes the actual ceremony. Once the location is decided upon for the ones being Bonded, they will engage in a dance, usually led by the more dominant of them, the subtler ones following along with their steps. The dance can last an hour, or only a few minutes, it depends on the finley involved. The dance is most similar to Tango and Ballroom dances of the real world, though they don’t quite fit in with any one type of dance, every dance being different for every relationship.
After their dance is finished, the participants of the ceremony gather two or more colors of paint they would have prepared beforehand. The colors chosen will match that of the magic organs of each participant, with an extra bowl to mix the the colors together . This signifies the union of the ones participating as paints mix, unable to be separated and denoting them together forever (hopefully!).
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Once they have assuredly chosen one another, they together create a symbolic stone carving, which represents their love.
Each stone design is unique. The stone material in which they carve must be divined for them by a Spiritualist that does a special ceremony with the couple in a nature rich area.
If any of them are Spiritualists above Level 6, then they can divine the material and do the ceremony themselves. Should nobody be, then they may either seek council from a trusted Spiritualist, or contact a Spirit for guidance through one.
Upon completion of their Bonding Stone, the partners are considered Bonded.
Courting Rituals
Relationship Terms
These terms are used for all species, and denote signifigant changes in each relationship step! These terms are mainly used on Klaedon, not so much other continents, like Raviad, which holds a MUCH different meaning to being Bonded/Bonding than Klaedonese residents.
Marked/Marking: This is a term used to refer to new couples which have just started seeing one another. This is usually the term applied to the first year of being together. You would say "I'm marked by," or "I'm marking with," rather than dating.
Charmed/Charming: This is a term used to refer to couples which have been together for an extended time. This refers to couples who have been together for more than a year. You would say "I'm charmed by," or "I'm charming with," rather than something like dating or engaged.
Bonded/Bonding: This is the serious term. This refers to couples that have gone through a bonding ceremony and is the real-world equivalent to marriage. You would say "I'm bonded with," or "I'm bonding with," rather than married with/to.
Nyulop Courting
When Nyulop reach as certain level of maturity they may start to experience feelings of attraction. This is fairly common as they enter adolescence, during which time they may findthemselves overcome with newfound feelings, and desire to seek romantic companionship with others.
Like many species, Nyulop have unique species specific tendencies and behaviours associated with feelings of infatuation and love, and they display these when attempting courtship.
All genders of Nyulop can take on the role of pursuer and will showcase their interests in the same way. There are not set defined roles according to gender with Nyulop.
Finding A Partner
Nyulop will seek partners based on traits they find appealing. This is unique as these traits will vary from Nyulop to Nyulop, which explains the growing trend of interspecies relationships. Once Nyulop find partners, they tend to retain interest, as Nyulop attempt to mate for life. They are not always successful, and breakups between mated couples is not always amicable, but they try their best to remain on good terms for the sake of the community.
Bleeding Hearts
This is a term used to refer to an...odd byproduct of close nuzzling. When adolescent, and even adult, Nyulop begin rubbing their cheeks to their partners there's an unintentional transfer for magic from their whiskers! In the case of two Nyulop, rubbing their whiskers together may cause colour transfer,during the duration of which their whiskers may appear splotchy with their partners' colour!
1.) Can this occur with Draken partners?
It has been known to happen! Oddly enough, regardless of where they're nuzzling, their whiskers may acquire splotches of colour that matches the Draken's Third Eye Gem!
2.) How long does it last? Is it permanent?
It isn't permanent, no, but it can last a while. Anywhere from a few minutes or a few hours! It can definitely be embarrassing if you're caught with colour blotched whiskers!
3.) What is the social implication of Bleeding Hearts?
For the most part they aren't frowned upon. Some older generations might huff and puff about it being unsightly, that it's something for private eyes only, but the mellowed younger generations are more inclined to just tease instead. "Bleeding Hearts colour marks!" Is a common phrase that gets thrown around when someone spies a Bleeding Heart. Most tend to hide away until the colour recedes.
Draken Courting
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As Draken enter adolescence, they may start to develop romantic feelings for others, and may desire romantic companionship with others. Many adolescent Draken will have to work out these new feelings.
Draken display species specific tendencies and behaviors associated with feelings of infatuation and love and will most often display these when attempting courtship (though certain gestures may be displayed…by accident). All genders of Draken will take on the role of pursuer, as Draken do not display or adhere to gender roles when undertaking a courtship attempt.
Finding A Partner
Most Draken pursue a single life long partner though their pursuit in mating for life is not always successful. Draken will break up with their partners if it is not working out. In old texts, Draken who split up were expected to defend their territory from one another. Society has since then grown out of silly customs but it is possible it may come up every now and again though Draken are not creatures of instinct.
Otherwise, the result of a break up depends heavily on the individuals involved. Duals used to have a harder time courting potential mates due to their susceptibility to Mana Burnout - which makes them difficult to breed with. As survival is becoming more of a non issue, those looking for romance tend to overlook those factors nowadays.
Unique Relationship Behaviour
Like with most relationships, Draken that just start dating tend to be very touchy feely with their partners though it varies depending on the individual. Tactile affection is common as a couple begins to get a feeling for their boundaries.
Couples that have been together for a longer amount of time have a tendency to gem touch more frequently. Those that have been together for years may allow each other to touch their Third Eye Gem if strong trust has been established. If a relationship has persisted for more than two years, it is rare to see the individuals split up but it does happen.
For a relationship to persist in a healthy manner, the Draken involved must forge a mutual trust, as stated those that become particularly comfortable may allow their partner to touch their third eye gem often.
Poking, prodding, grabbing or otherwise touching the third eye gem if not in a serious relationship is considered a rude and embarrassing gesture. The one committing the act may be labelled a creep.
For all levels of relationships, kissing is a common gesture but not seen as being as intimate as the gem touch.
Gem Touch
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A Gem Touch is when two Draken tap their Third Eye Gems together, or when one Draken taps their Third Eye Gem to their partners forehead regardless of if they are a Nyulop or a Draken. This gesture brings the Draken’s center of mana closest to who they love, so a Gem Touch does not often happen when a Draken does not feel close to the person in question.
Gem touches can happen by accident, and the embarrassment goes about as far as an accidental kiss. However, to willingly bring a Third Eye Gem close to someone is a gesture of extreme affection and trust so a Draken will not do so unless they harbor serious feelings towards their partner.
A surprise Gem Touch can be awkward or even scary to someone who isn’t expecting it.
Gem Terms
Gem Kiss: Alternate speech for “Gem Touch.”
Gem Cuddle: A Gem Cuddle is when a Draken rubs the Third Eye Gem on their partner’s body, very rare to see in public because it is considered intimate.